From the Journal of Aidan Löscher
by Mattpwnsall
Summary: He may be forgotten, but he is still here, and he has not forgotten everything. These are the writings of Aidan Löscher, a human who lives in mystery who finds himself becoming a street rat, a fighter, a man in exile, and later-a hero in the unconventional sense. Rated T for later chapters when Aidan is a teen/adult.
1. November 11, 839

November 11, 839

Okay, so I just got this journal and I'm not sure how to start. So I guess I'll just introduce myself. I'm Aidan Löscher, a human boy living within the walls of the Shiganshina district. At least that's what I think it's called. I live in the streets, so I think I'm an orphan, considering the fact that I have no parents. Some of the adults even call me street rat. I know that it's an insult. What do they take me for?

I know that I'm 9 today because the old lady by the market said so. She says that she knows my birthday because she used to know my parents, but I don't even remember them. She said my name means "fire" or "fiery". I don't know about that, but she has done a lot for me, so I will believe her for now. She has wanted to take me in and raise me like her own child, but I know her husband said no. I don't like him anyway. He yells and curses and he smells of alcohol.

For my birthday, she gave me this journal and recommended that I write in it. I asked why and she said it would help me voice what I am thinking since some of the other kids ignore me. She said something about helping maintain my sanity and something about writing being constructive. I don't entirely believe her, but she's done so much for me and I trust her. So I'll do this just for her.

Anyway, almost 100 years ago, these giant human-like monsters called titans first appeared in our world. They started eating us humans and almost drove us to extinction. We took refuge within the three walls: Maria, Rose, and Sina. We then developed weapons to allow us to fight the titans, but I hear that it still takes a lot of humans to kill a titan. The stories I hear about titans are also terrible, and I am glad that I will never have to see one.

The walls are 50 m high and titans only go up to 15 m, so they will not be able to climb over the walls anyway. But I wonder what will happen to us if the walls ever fall.

Well, I have nothing else to say today, So, until later, then.


	2. November 13, 839

November 13, 839

Only two days since I got this journal and its already starting to become a problem carrying it everywhere. This could easily get stolen, and theft is common on the streets.

I promised the old lady that I would write in this, but I didn't say every day. Whatever. If I write in this a few times every year, that counts, right?

Don't expect me to write in this again for a while.

And in case you wonder why I call her old lady, its because I don't know her name. I asked her a few years ago when she first gave me bread, and she just told me to call her granny. Like I would do that. Its boring.


	3. November 18, 839

November 18, 839

Okay, fine. I admit it. Writing in this thing finally got to me and I got impatient waiting. But this is still bothersome to carry and writing still feels like a chore.

Its starting to get colder. Expected in November, but it's still cold. I guess I will hide in someone's basement as I have always done. Few want to help those like me. I don't care. At least I'm warm and not hungry.

Other kids usually ignore me, s no need to worry about them.

Until next time


	4. November 29, 839

November 29, 839

Almost lost this journal. Some neighborhood bully snatched it from me while I was sleeping. I was actually scared that I was breaking my promise to the old lady by losing this.

I lost it one night and spent two days looking for it. I finally found him with it and obviously he would not give it back. I used a nearby shovel to beat his legs and I took my journal back.

Don't look at me like that. He was a bully and someone had to stand up to him. Plus, he will recover.

What matters is that I have my journal back. I'm not taking my eyes off it. Ever.


	5. December 13, 839

December 13, 839

Its freezing cold. Even in the basement of this house, I can still feel it. At least there are blankets down here.

In times like this, a lockpick becomes your best friend. I can get into houses like its nothing. Do people even lock their homes that well at night? Not that I'm complaining.

There is plenty of food down here, so I wont go hungry. When someone comes down, I just hide. During the day, I just walk around and watch other people. Boring and lonely, but I have always been lonely.

Nothing else to say for tonight. I don't think I will die this winter like some people. If I get caught, I will just run. They can never catch me.

Like a mouse.


	6. January 2, 840

January 2, 840

So, a new year. Doesn't feel any different. I'm still a street child and still lonely. Nothing has changed.

Moved to a new house to avoid getting caught. But for me, its not new. This is typical for me.

Actually, something is new. I have a new satchel for all of my stuff, however few it is. Just a change of clothes, my lockpick, some food, a water bag, and this journal. Nothing else.

Maybe this year will be different. Who knows?


	7. January 25, 840

January 25, 840

Nothing else to say. Just writing to say that I'm not dead or anything.

This may start to become a habit.


	8. February 24, 840

February 24, 840

Just reassurance. I'm not dead, and I don't plan to be.

Spring is coming soon. At least it will be warmer.

Maybe I will check the world outside of the city. Maybe the mountains or the forests.

Would be a nice change of pace.


	9. March 17, 840

March 17, 840

Here in the forests. Had to get here by walking and hitchhiking in the back of carts. Took a long time. But it was worth it.

Best decision ever.

Its quiet and tranquil here, unlike the loud and crowded cities. Even the water is crystal clear and the air even tastes cleaner. Why did I not live here before?

Found a secluded spot to bathe in, and it felt so refreshing. I have not felt any cleaner in my life. Sure, maybe an animal or two saw me, but they left me alone. Had it been a human, I have no doubt they would have laughed at me or worse, taken my things and my clothes. I'm glad that did not happen.

There's enough food here that I wont starve. Maybe I should live here for the rest of my life.

Do any other humans live here? If they do, they better not disturb this place. I think they would destroy this place if they had the chance. They can be so greedy.


	10. March 21, 840

March 21, 840

I've been sleeping out in the wilderness. I've used a blanket tied against two trees for shelter. I think this is called camping. Is it?

I've watched the sun rise and the sun set, and they are both very beautiful. They paint the blue sky with all sorts of shades of red and orange, and even pink. I wish I had a picture of it to keep forever, but I think I can remember it for the rest of my life.

Today, I found a small village in the woods. There were some people there, going about their lives. I was curious to see how different it was here compared to the city. So I walked closer to the village. That was a mistake.

As soon as I stepped out into the open, a few adults noticed me and started staring at me. Then many more were staring at me. I was so embarrassed, I was shy at that moment. I wanted nothing more than to melt into the ground and disappear. One adult came up to me and asked me if I was lost, but I wasn't paying attention. My heart was pounding in my head, my head was getting hotter, and I felt sick. I knelt down and curled up into a ball and I was breathing quickly. I had not felt this ill since I was about 4.

The adult then put his hand on me and I finally stood up and pushed his hand away, yelling at him to stop. I told them all to stop staring at me and to leave me alone. They were all more than surprised at that, but I didn't care. After a moment, they finally stopped staring and continued with their lives. But the man was still there, watching me.

I calmed down a little bit, but I wasn't going to talk to him just yet. I did not trust him. He calmly tried to explain that he was not trying to hurt me and he was checking to see if I was lost or anything. I wasn't exactly ready to trust him just yet, but I kept silent. At that point, my stomach growled, indicating that I was hungry. Stupid stomach.

He asked me if I wanted to eat something and he offered to get me a little something at his home, which was nearby. I still didn't trust him, but I went with my stomach. In any other case, I would not have done that. He led me to his house and I sat down in a chair, resting for a bit. Walking was tiring, and I had done a lot of it. He went into another room for a second and came out with some bread for me. I reached out for it, only for it to be snatched away at the last second by a little girl who appeared to be no more than 4 years old.

She must have been his daughter because the man then chased the girl around, reprimanding her for taking someone else's food. He also kept calling her Sasha as if he knew her. I couldn't help but find the sight funny, especially her pouting face. I asked him who the girl was and he introduced her as his daughter Sasha and he introduced himself as Blouse. At least, that was his surname. What an interesting surname. He apologized for his daughter taking my food, but I had no problem with it. I actually offered a little bit of my food to Sasha, who accepted it eagerly. Cute.

After getting a little something to eat, I asked him where we were currently and he said we were in the village of Dauper located in the mountains. I could hardly believe him when he said that we were in the mountains. Had I really walked so far and high? But he continued on, saying that Dauper was a hunting village and they relied heavily on it. But admittedly, the forest was shrinking bit by bit every year and the spoils of the hunt were decreasing every year. That was news to me, and I was shocked at how this was happening to them.

Is anywhere free from the influence of humans?

After some further discussion, he asked me where I was going and I said that I was going to resume my journey and continue exploring the mountains on my own. Well, that did not seem to sit well with him because he started going on about how I was still a little kid and there were dangers out there that were not kind to children. He insisted that I at least stay the night. I didnt think he was going to take no for an answer, and his daughter's puppy eyes finally got to me. I said yes and now I am staying the night in a separate bed.

I hope its not too much of an inconvenience for him or any of us.


	11. March 22, 840

March 22, 840

Well, I woke up this morning to Sasha jumping up and down on my bed telling me to wake up. It took me a minute to remember where I was and what happened. After waking up and asking her to get off my bed, she did and ran off into what I think was the kitchen. Does that girl ever stop eating?

Today, after breakfast, I asked Blouse if I could help with anything since I didn't want to be a freeloader and sitting around all day was boring. I cant believe I said those words without thinking about it first. I still didn't entirely trust him yet, so why had I said that? He said I could cut some firewood and maybe help with hunting. Only problem is, I have never done either of those. He was willing to show me, however.

He took me outside and showed some wood that needed to be cut with an axe. He showed me how to use the axe properly and even though I learned quickly, the axe was still heavy. But I was able to do the task. After cutting the wood, he brought Sasha to a friend to watch her as he brought me to the woods, where there a bow and some arrows resting by a log. He showed me how to use the bow and arrow, and even though I knew how, my aim was pitiful. I fired 10 arrows at a target he had set up and only 4 arrows hit the target. He didn't seem disappointed considering that was my first time using a bow. He said that with practice, I would be able to do well with the bow and arrow. We practiced more and I was able to hit 6 times out of 10. He then went on to show me how to properly take care of the bow, explaining how certain faults could break the bow or even cause it to shatter with a mere touch. I would have never thought that taking care of a bow could be so rigorous.

We trained more with the bow and I was unable to hit more than 6 times. At one point, while we took a break, with him tending to my bow ad me shaving a twig with a pocketknife I borrowed from him. I got so frustrated that I started yelling at him, asking him why I wasn't doing any better. He said that it took time and practice, but I didn't want to believe him. I had been practicing plenty, so why wasn't I getting better? I started waving my arms around and at one point, the knife flew out of my hand and hit the target dead center. We both stared at it, surprised at that. I took the knife out and tried throwing it again at the target. It hit dead center again. I tried it a few more times and every time, it hit the target around the same place. Apparently, I have a skill in knife throwing.

We went for a walk in the woods and talked some more about everything else. As we walked, we heard a snap and Blouse pushed me down to the ground and motioned for me to be quiet. He pointed out an animal to me that he said was a deer. According to him, deer were hunted for their skin, which he called a pelt, and also for their meat. Also for sport, but that was rarely considering food shortages. He told me to aim straight for the neck in order to kill it instantly. I looked at him in surprise. I didn't expect him to trust me with such a task. I also wasn't sure I could do it. But I aimed at the deer and took deep breaths like he instructed me to. I was ready to fire, but then a bug crawled onto my hand and I jumped, causing my arrow to miss. The deer was startled and it ran off into the woods. I was so disappointed with my shot. Blouse, however, showed me how to track the deer using clues, such as trampled plants and tracks in the dirt.

We followed those for a bit until we found the deer again. This time, when I fired my arrow, I hit the deer, killing it. Blouse said that my arrow has a little high and to the left, but it was good enough. Naturally, that was my first time killing anything, and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. My breathing started to go rapid, just like yesterday. He noticed this and helped calm me down, reassuring me that was normal for a first kill.

Why must people kill? Isnt killing a bad thing? The way Blouse sees it, killing is a necessary evil, unless it is done in hate. Maybe someday, I will understand.

We took the deer back in time for dinner, where Blouse enlisted the help of a friend to skin the deer and cut it up for meat. The meat was used for tonight's dinner, and deer meat tastes weird. I don't know how to describe it. Sasha, however, didn't seem to have a problem with it. The meal was still satisfying, though.

And now, I'm here, writing in my journal. More to come tomorrow. Sasha's trying to peek into my journal. Like that's ever gonna happen.


	12. April 3, 840

April 3, 840

I've been here in Dauper village for about 2 weeks now, and its been quite the experience. The people here speak with a strange accent. At first, understanding what some people were saying was difficult, but I managed to learn their strange language. Their culture is different from the culture down in Shiganshina, and it was quite enlightening to see just how different we all were, yet it was also worthwhile noticing how similar we were at the same time. They don't have an awful lot, yet they can still learn to share what they have with each other. Had I lived here instead of Shiganshina, I think I would have certainly loved it. But unfortunately, today my journey continued on.

I left Dauper village earlier today. I was able to help out with Blouse, and getting to know his daughter was tiring, but still worth it in my opinion. Before I left, he gave me something wrapped in cloth. I unwrapped it and it was a knife. A simple knife, but I looked at him and asked him why he was giving it to me. He explained it was a tool and a weapon if the need ever arose. He felt that I would be better off with it. I couldn't exactly argue with him because it did make sense. I put the knife away and thanked him for his hospitality and his time. After saying our farewells, I left the village and headed off into the forests. A new adventure was waiting, and I wasn't willing to miss out on it!

The forests and woods are still as quiet as they were. I'm still as lonely as ever, but knowing that I have at least a few friends in Dauper village helped lift my spirits up.

Now that I think about it, what exactly defines a friend?


	13. April 14, 840

April 14, 840

Turns out now I somehow made my way down the mountain and now I'm in the farmlands. I found more humans in this place. Only this time, its just a house. And only a few people live there.

I was walking along a path when I found yet another clearing. That could have meant more people, so I followed the path, and I found a house. I didn't know if anyone was in the house and there didn't appear to be any other houses around. Why would there be a house away from everyone else? Did someone else enjoy the peace and quiet around here? I cautiously walked up to the door and knocked on it. I was half hoping that no one was home. But then the door opened and there was a man standing there. He looked at me curiously and asked me if I was lost or something like that. I explained to him that I was just a kid looking for adventure out in the wilderness outside of the city. That did not seem to sit well with him and he tried lecturing me about how a kid my age shouldn't be wandering around by himself without his parents. I glared at him and the look on his face indicated that I must have been looking pretty scary at that point.

I quietly muttered that I have no parents and the look on his face softened. I brushed it off and told him that I found his house in the middle of nowhere and I asked him why he would live here alone. He smiled and stated that he wasn't alone, and that he lived here with his wife and daughter. He led me to the back of the house, but not before I got a glimpse of the inside of his house. It seemed simple and not too extravagant or anything. Just the basics that a family of 3 would need to live, and then some.

At the back of his house, there was a garden that had a good number of crops growing. There was a woman and girl tending to the crops, but my entrance caught their attention. The first thing I noticed about the woman was that she looked unlike any woman I had ever seen before. Her hair was a shade of black that I had never seen before, and her eyes looked narrow. By the time I realized that I had said my thoughts out loud, it was too late. I could tell by their facial expressions that what I had said was offensive. I felt flustered and quickly apologized. Why is this happening to me more often nowadays?

They told me that it was okay and that they understood my reaction. The man introduced himself as Mr. Ackermann and his wife was so named Mrs. Ackermann. Their daughter was named Mikasa, and she looked exactly like her mother. Mikasa was hiding behind her mother's dress since she was apparently shy. I couldn't blame her. If it were me, I'd probably be doing the same thing.

To address my question, Mrs. Ackermann explained that she was the last of a race of people known as Asians. Asians supposedly lived outside the walls and were wiped out by the titans. But Mrs. Ackermann was the last known Asian living within the three walls. I had not known until now that there were other people living outside the walls. How is it that some people made it to the walls and others were left to die?

I introduced myself to them and explained that I was an orphan who was on his own and I was currently exploring the world within the walls. They seemed concerned about a 9-year old kid like me on my own in the wilderness, but I assured them that I was fine and that I was not in any danger. They offered me some food and water, but I told them that it was okay and that I had more than enough. Adults always seem to worry so much about children, even if the child is not their own.

They wished me luck on my journey and bade me farewell. I'm not sure whether or not it was a pleasure meeting them since I'm still getting used to being around people. But I will admit, learning about other races of people outside of the walls was enlightening. Maybe it was a good thing to meet these people.


End file.
